What actually happens in your first 15-minute consultation

If you've never done this before, the not-knowing is often the hardest part. You might be picturing a couch, a clipboard, someone quietly analyzing you while you talk. It's nothing like that. So here's exactly what the first 15 minutes looks like, and what comes after it, with no surprises and no pressure.

It's a conversation, not an assessment

The first call is short and relaxed. We're not diagnosing anything, and we're not digging into your past. It's a chance for the two of us to talk, get a feel for each other, and see whether working together makes sense. That's genuinely all it's for. I see my role as a guide rather than an expert who has you figured out. You're the expert on your own life. My job on this first call is mostly to listen, and to give you a real sense of how I work.

You don't have to have it figured out

You don't need the right words, a clear "issue," or a tidy explanation of what's wrong. "I'm not totally sure why I'm here, things just feel off" is a completely normal place to start. A lot of the men I work with are coming to therapy for the first time, often after carrying something quietly for a long time. You don't have to perform, or get it right. Showing up is the part that takes courage, and considering the call means you've already done the hardest bit.

What I'll ask

Usually just a few open questions. What's been going on lately. What made you reach out now rather than six months ago. What you'd hope might feel different if things went well. You can share as much or as little as you want. Nothing you say commits you to anything, and there's no heavy work in a first conversation. We go at your pace, always.

What you can ask me

This is as much you interviewing me as the other way around. Ask how I work, what sessions are actually like, how I think about the kind of thing you're dealing with, fees, scheduling, anything at all. Fit matters more than almost anything in therapy, and the only way to get a feel for it is to talk. If something about my approach doesn't sound right for you, that's genuinely useful to find out now.

What a first full session is like

If we decide to keep going, the first full session is still unhurried. We build trust before we build anything else. I'd never expect you to do deep, heavy work before there's a sense of safety between us, and that gets built over time, not forced.

What I hope you take from a first session, in my own words:

I want clients to leave our first session feeling seen and with a hopeful curiosity to explore. I believe that this work can take time. It takes time to build trust, so I am not asking to dive straight into the heavy work, especially in the first session. I want to build a sense of getting to know each other and an understanding if this feels like a natural fit. I do not want the therapy process to feel forced; I want it to be client-led, and if it is a good fit, maybe for them to feel inspired and hopeful, like, I am not alone, and I think I can actually work through this.

One small thing I offer at the start of most sessions is a short guided mindfulness practice, three or four minutes, completely optional. It's a simple way to put down whatever you walked in carrying and actually arrive before we talk. Most men choose it, but it's always your call. If it isn't for you, we just start talking. From there the work tends to emerge naturally: getting curious together about what's going on, and what's underneath it.

How it ends

At the end of the consultation, if it feels like a fit, we book a first full session. If it doesn't, that's completely okay. There's no pressure, and I'm glad to help point you toward someone who might be a better match. You're never stuck with a decision just because you made a call.

That's it

Fifteen minutes, free, no commitment. The hardest part is usually deciding to make the call. The call itself is easy.

If you're not sure whether what you've been feeling is worth a conversation, a private self-check can help you see the last couple of weeks more clearly. This is what counselling for men is meant to feel like from the very first contact: straightforward, judgment-free, and on your terms. When you're ready, booking a free 15-minute call with a male therapist who gets the territory is a low-pressure place to begin.