The same argument, again
Different subject every time, same shape underneath. You both know how it ends before it starts.
Two of you
Couples therapy
Online across Ontario. For the conversation you keep not having.
I spend most of my week working with men. That shapes how I work with couples.
A lot of couples get stuck in the same place. One partner has language for what they feel and the other does not, so the silence gets read as not caring. Usually it is not that. It is often someone who was never taught how to say the thing, sitting across from someone who has been waiting a long time to hear it.
I am not here to referee, and I am not here to decide who is right. I am here to help two people understand what is actually happening between them, including the parts that have never made it into words.
Fifteen minutes, no cost. Either of you can book it.
What we work on
What couples come to therapy for
Most couples do not arrive because of one enormous thing. They arrive because a hundred small ones have quietly stacked up.
One of you talks, one of you goes quiet
The more one pushes for an answer, the further the other retreats. Neither of you wants it to work this way.
Distance that crept in
Nothing broke. You are polite, functional, good parents, good roommates. Somewhere along the way you stopped being close.
After something happened
An affair, a betrayal, a breach of trust. Whether it can be rebuilt is a real question, and it deserves a real conversation.
A change neither of you planned for
A baby, a job loss, an illness, a move. The relationship that worked before does not fit the life you are in now.
Deciding whether to stay
Sometimes the honest question is not how to fix it but whether to continue. That is allowed to be the work.
You do not both have to be sure about this before you come. It is common for one of you to be more certain than the other.
Simple, and no pressure
What couples therapy looks like
The same three steps as individual work, with one difference: there are two of you, and you will not always agree. That is expected.
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Book a 15 minute call
Fifteen minutes, free. Either of you can book it, and you can be on it together or one of you can call first. You tell me roughly what is going on, I tell you how I work, and we see whether it fits. If couples work is not the right thing for your situation, I will say so.
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Create a plan
The first sessions are about understanding the pattern, not assigning blame. We work out what the two of you actually want and what is worth the time. You will both know what we are doing and why. If you want different things, that is useful information rather than a problem to hide.
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Moving at your pace
Then we get to work. Some couples want to open the hardest thing immediately. Others need to rebuild enough trust to get there. There is no schedule you are behind on, and nobody gets pushed to say something before they are ready.
Common questions
Do we both have to come every time?
Usually yes. Occasionally an individual session with one of you is useful, and if so we talk about it openly first. No secrets, no side conversations.
What if my partner will not come?
That happens often. Individual therapy can still help you understand the pattern and what you want, and sometimes a partner comes along later.
Will you take sides?
No. Both of you need to feel the room is yours, or none of this works.
How long are sessions?
Fifty minutes. Some couples prefer a longer first session, which we can discuss.
Is it covered by insurance?
Many extended health plans cover a Registered Psychotherapist. Coverage varies, so check your plan. You will get a receipt to submit.